[ he folds his arms over his chest almost like he's guarding himself, eyes cast down to the floor as he considers this. he doesn't reply to that immediately either, letting his thoughts circle each other for a bit. ]
I find it interesting that you would be considered evil despite the fact you just told me you'd rather experiment on yourself first before submitting someone else to an experiment.
Some experiments cannot be done on myself. I still insist you shouldn't mistake me for a saint. I will choose to sacrifice others to accomplish things I cannot do alone, even if I've decided not to involve civilians. Other people's lives are still used and discarded for my results. That is enough to make me a sinner.
Though I possess principles, it does not erase the blood on my hands.
[it is the nuance that exists in the heart of scien brofiise: someone who is at once the devil and the savior]
I never said I would think of you as a saint either. [ bluntly. just to clarify. ] Just like I never said you'd be absolved from sins just because the work you're doing is for the greater good. But I can still think...
[ ...he seems to be settling down again, deciding not to keep talking and shut up to weigh his words for a moment. ]
...those people you use for your research. Where do you find them? How do they come into your hands?
[so he felt the need to clarify. it's what happens when people so commonly revere you as a god. scien ever only accepted the title in regards to his intellect - not his morals]
They're the scum of the earth. Criminals on death row only.
[those who were already going to die, so scien thought their lives could at least be used for research]
[ he's not even surprised by this question because he's very aware he's been more candid and pointed in his questioning today than usual. ]
Researcher. But he's dead, so... [ he can't exactly do anything anymore. and yet when shoma says that, there're two prevalent emotions here. one is frustration, and one is relief. ]
[scien picks apart the emotions and analyzes them - they're not strong enough to offset his internal system so....]
Did he die before he could see his research to completion, leaving you without answers? Are you glad he's dead before he could steal away anymore lives?
Or is there something else, to explain this complicated mess of emotions you seem to be holding onto?
No, he succeeded just fine. [ then? ] I wouldn't necessarily say I'm glad he's dead either.
[ ... ]
I think this might be hard for you to understand. [ because he can sort of see how scien approaches people and how people feel. ] I guess I wanted answers about his research and the methodology behind it, but I'll never get those. So I thought maybe hearing it from someone else might make it a little easier to understand.
... so you're seeking closure, hoping someone other than a ghost will give it to you.
[it is a little hard for him to understand - he would probably never experience this feeling himself - but it's not as though he's never hit a dead end.]
anyway he decides to make another huge mistake and actually tell scien something a little more truthful than he's told anyone else here so far. ]
It'd be foolish to think it'd be complete closure. [ so this is part of it, yes. ] The only one who could have was Director Horadori, and I was never gonna get answers from him anyway because he never thought he was doing anything wrong. But it'd at least give context to pieces I don't have, and maybe a direction to follow.
...Director Horadori's research was similar to yours. Not because people were dying in Tokyo, but because he wanted to reach immortality. He wanted to find a way to stop aging so that he could live forever and never have to worry about dying. I think that was his justification. He wanted to keep living just to be able to do whatever he wanted in life without consequences.
People who think they want immortality aren't smart enough to wisely use the time they do have.
[hot takes from scien brofiise!!!]
This is precisely the type of reason why Reliver technology can never be replicated—idiots like that who'll use it to play with death and trivialize their own existence.
And so? You said he's dead, despite completing his research. Someone murdered him?
[ okay yeah sorry the actual worst problem is there is a very faint thread of amusement. like it's buried in a lot of frustration and nervous energy but go off, he guesses. ]
Sure. Placing it in the wrong hands would only mean prolonging the life of people who don't value life for what it is.
No. [ but the vibe isn't even remotely offended because it's not like he doesn't understand why it happened. there is a flash of anger, low and quick, but it doesn't seem to be related to the topic of horadori himself. ] But he didn't exactly have a shortage of people who despised him.
I suppose you should have. [ namely because scien straight up asked him what his true age was...but he will also elaborate. ]
It's not immortality. But the genetic modifications of my body have slowed the aging process almost entirely. [ ... ] There isn't any way to fix it either.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ he folds his arms over his chest almost like he's guarding himself, eyes cast down to the floor as he considers this. he doesn't reply to that immediately either, letting his thoughts circle each other for a bit. ]
I find it interesting that you would be considered evil despite the fact you just told me you'd rather experiment on yourself first before submitting someone else to an experiment.
no subject
Some experiments cannot be done on myself. I still insist you shouldn't mistake me for a saint. I will choose to sacrifice others to accomplish things I cannot do alone, even if I've decided not to involve civilians. Other people's lives are still used and discarded for my results. That is enough to make me a sinner.
Though I possess principles, it does not erase the blood on my hands.
[it is the nuance that exists in the heart of scien brofiise: someone who is at once the devil and the savior]
no subject
[ ...he seems to be settling down again, deciding not to keep talking and shut up to weigh his words for a moment. ]
...those people you use for your research. Where do you find them? How do they come into your hands?
no subject
[so he felt the need to clarify. it's what happens when people so commonly revere you as a god. scien ever only accepted the title in regards to his intellect - not his morals]
They're the scum of the earth. Criminals on death row only.
[those who were already going to die, so scien thought their lives could at least be used for research]
no subject
And do they know? [ do they know that when they enter the institute, they're about to be used and discarded as needed. ]
no subject
I don't know what the guards who escort them tell them on the way. Most likely not.
[that said,]
Who are you comparing me to?
no subject
Researcher. But he's dead, so... [ he can't exactly do anything anymore. and yet when shoma says that, there're two prevalent emotions here. one is frustration, and one is relief. ]
no subject
Did he die before he could see his research to completion, leaving you without answers? Are you glad he's dead before he could steal away anymore lives?
Or is there something else, to explain this complicated mess of emotions you seem to be holding onto?
no subject
[ ... ]
I think this might be hard for you to understand. [ because he can sort of see how scien approaches people and how people feel. ] I guess I wanted answers about his research and the methodology behind it, but I'll never get those. So I thought maybe hearing it from someone else might make it a little easier to understand.
no subject
[it is a little hard for him to understand - he would probably never experience this feeling himself - but it's not as though he's never hit a dead end.]
Is that it?
no subject
anyway he decides to make another huge mistake and actually tell scien something a little more truthful than he's told anyone else here so far. ]
It'd be foolish to think it'd be complete closure. [ so this is part of it, yes. ] The only one who could have was Director Horadori, and I was never gonna get answers from him anyway because he never thought he was doing anything wrong. But it'd at least give context to pieces I don't have, and maybe a direction to follow.
no subject
[said like... duh? will he continue to do it anyway? listen.]
And what are the pieces that you feel like you don't have? How was he able to justify it to himself?
no subject
...Director Horadori's research was similar to yours. Not because people were dying in Tokyo, but because he wanted to reach immortality. He wanted to find a way to stop aging so that he could live forever and never have to worry about dying. I think that was his justification. He wanted to keep living just to be able to do whatever he wanted in life without consequences.
no subject
goes the equivalent of
uuuuggghhHHHHHHHH out loud
his emotions - though muted, still not quite right - similarly reflect a sense of disgust and distaste]
no subject
no subject
[hot takes from scien brofiise!!!]
This is precisely the type of reason why Reliver technology can never be replicated—idiots like that who'll use it to play with death and trivialize their own existence.
And so? You said he's dead, despite completing his research. Someone murdered him?
no subject
Sure. Placing it in the wrong hands would only mean prolonging the life of people who don't value life for what it is.
[ lmao anyway about that. ]
He was murdered a few years ago.
no subject
[SCIEN]
no subject
no subject
[a sense of understanding..... help]
What were you to him? You said that you're self-taught.
no subject
also, he doesn't answer the question immediately because he's actually more offended about this instead. ]
My robotics have nothing to do with him.
[ so that's still true, he is self-taught. ]
no subject
But that's good. Best to keep research interests separate.
no subject
anyway. ...even if the rest of the ship doesn't have a clue, he figures at this rate he's already said enough it won't matter. so. ]
I told you he succeeded just fine, didn't I?
no subject
Oh?
I suppose I should've guessed.
no subject
It's not immortality. But the genetic modifications of my body have slowed the aging process almost entirely. [ ... ] There isn't any way to fix it either.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)