[ he's not even surprised by this question because he's very aware he's been more candid and pointed in his questioning today than usual. ]
Researcher. But he's dead, so... [ he can't exactly do anything anymore. and yet when shoma says that, there're two prevalent emotions here. one is frustration, and one is relief. ]
[scien picks apart the emotions and analyzes them - they're not strong enough to offset his internal system so....]
Did he die before he could see his research to completion, leaving you without answers? Are you glad he's dead before he could steal away anymore lives?
Or is there something else, to explain this complicated mess of emotions you seem to be holding onto?
No, he succeeded just fine. [ then? ] I wouldn't necessarily say I'm glad he's dead either.
[ ... ]
I think this might be hard for you to understand. [ because he can sort of see how scien approaches people and how people feel. ] I guess I wanted answers about his research and the methodology behind it, but I'll never get those. So I thought maybe hearing it from someone else might make it a little easier to understand.
... so you're seeking closure, hoping someone other than a ghost will give it to you.
[it is a little hard for him to understand - he would probably never experience this feeling himself - but it's not as though he's never hit a dead end.]
anyway he decides to make another huge mistake and actually tell scien something a little more truthful than he's told anyone else here so far. ]
It'd be foolish to think it'd be complete closure. [ so this is part of it, yes. ] The only one who could have was Director Horadori, and I was never gonna get answers from him anyway because he never thought he was doing anything wrong. But it'd at least give context to pieces I don't have, and maybe a direction to follow.
...Director Horadori's research was similar to yours. Not because people were dying in Tokyo, but because he wanted to reach immortality. He wanted to find a way to stop aging so that he could live forever and never have to worry about dying. I think that was his justification. He wanted to keep living just to be able to do whatever he wanted in life without consequences.
People who think they want immortality aren't smart enough to wisely use the time they do have.
[hot takes from scien brofiise!!!]
This is precisely the type of reason why Reliver technology can never be replicated—idiots like that who'll use it to play with death and trivialize their own existence.
And so? You said he's dead, despite completing his research. Someone murdered him?
[ okay yeah sorry the actual worst problem is there is a very faint thread of amusement. like it's buried in a lot of frustration and nervous energy but go off, he guesses. ]
Sure. Placing it in the wrong hands would only mean prolonging the life of people who don't value life for what it is.
No. [ but the vibe isn't even remotely offended because it's not like he doesn't understand why it happened. there is a flash of anger, low and quick, but it doesn't seem to be related to the topic of horadori himself. ] But he didn't exactly have a shortage of people who despised him.
I suppose you should have. [ namely because scien straight up asked him what his true age was...but he will also elaborate. ]
It's not immortality. But the genetic modifications of my body have slowed the aging process almost entirely. [ ... ] There isn't any way to fix it either.
My eighteenth birthday was seven months ago. [ he makes a face at being compared to an eighty year old though. ] Even if my body doesn't age, my brain still does.
No. He was doing all of the experiments to see what would work. I'm guessing he wanted to rule out any and all side effects and create the perfect genetic code before altering his own. He never really said.
[ ...and he thinks this might not matter to scien in particular, given how he operates, but shoma figures it's fair to offer full context. ]
...I was in elementary school when they told me something was wrong with my genes. Instead of going to the hospital, I was taken to Horadori Institute. He told me there were abnormalities in my DNA, something only one in hundreds of thousands of people had. It meant I'd get sick with an incurable disease and I'd die really soon if I didn't start treatments right away. The only way they could help me was through gene therapy.
[ a flicker of annoyance, and anger, and frustration all over again. ]
I finally stole my file from the Institute when I was twelve because I wanted to find out what was wrong. And as you probably guessed, the answer was nothing. He was just using me for his experiments. [ a pause. ] The sole success of his research. That's what it said.
Ah, I knew someone with a bad hobby like that. I kicked him out of my Institute because that's not what we do there.
[hELP HEELP HELPPPP NOT SCIEN IMMEDIATELY HAVING A PICTURE IN HIS HEAD OF WHO THIS GUY ISSSSS
but there are flickers of understanding. there isn't anything quite like sympathy or empathy, but a faraway emotion that is something like disgruntlement. even if he isn't the type to react to someone else's backstory...
well, it's the principle of the thing]
So when you spoke of transformation and key events... I see now.
Then I can at least say this: I don't think it is impossible for you to resume aging normally. You are not unsalvageable.
Good. [ don't just tell scien how to run his institute? anyway it's fine. he truly would have been more shocked and immediately thought it was fake if he felt any sort of sympathy from scien. ]
...you don't. [ he's not the type to get his hopes up (not anymore, there's never a point in doing so), but he is admittedly curious. he has no idea what all horadori did to his genes or how to rectify it, but he was mildly hoping someone with more knowledge about genetic engineering would have more clues. ] Really?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Researcher. But he's dead, so... [ he can't exactly do anything anymore. and yet when shoma says that, there're two prevalent emotions here. one is frustration, and one is relief. ]
no subject
Did he die before he could see his research to completion, leaving you without answers? Are you glad he's dead before he could steal away anymore lives?
Or is there something else, to explain this complicated mess of emotions you seem to be holding onto?
no subject
[ ... ]
I think this might be hard for you to understand. [ because he can sort of see how scien approaches people and how people feel. ] I guess I wanted answers about his research and the methodology behind it, but I'll never get those. So I thought maybe hearing it from someone else might make it a little easier to understand.
no subject
[it is a little hard for him to understand - he would probably never experience this feeling himself - but it's not as though he's never hit a dead end.]
Is that it?
no subject
anyway he decides to make another huge mistake and actually tell scien something a little more truthful than he's told anyone else here so far. ]
It'd be foolish to think it'd be complete closure. [ so this is part of it, yes. ] The only one who could have was Director Horadori, and I was never gonna get answers from him anyway because he never thought he was doing anything wrong. But it'd at least give context to pieces I don't have, and maybe a direction to follow.
no subject
[said like... duh? will he continue to do it anyway? listen.]
And what are the pieces that you feel like you don't have? How was he able to justify it to himself?
no subject
...Director Horadori's research was similar to yours. Not because people were dying in Tokyo, but because he wanted to reach immortality. He wanted to find a way to stop aging so that he could live forever and never have to worry about dying. I think that was his justification. He wanted to keep living just to be able to do whatever he wanted in life without consequences.
no subject
goes the equivalent of
uuuuggghhHHHHHHHH out loud
his emotions - though muted, still not quite right - similarly reflect a sense of disgust and distaste]
no subject
no subject
[hot takes from scien brofiise!!!]
This is precisely the type of reason why Reliver technology can never be replicated—idiots like that who'll use it to play with death and trivialize their own existence.
And so? You said he's dead, despite completing his research. Someone murdered him?
no subject
Sure. Placing it in the wrong hands would only mean prolonging the life of people who don't value life for what it is.
[ lmao anyway about that. ]
He was murdered a few years ago.
no subject
[SCIEN]
no subject
no subject
[a sense of understanding..... help]
What were you to him? You said that you're self-taught.
no subject
also, he doesn't answer the question immediately because he's actually more offended about this instead. ]
My robotics have nothing to do with him.
[ so that's still true, he is self-taught. ]
no subject
But that's good. Best to keep research interests separate.
no subject
anyway. ...even if the rest of the ship doesn't have a clue, he figures at this rate he's already said enough it won't matter. so. ]
I told you he succeeded just fine, didn't I?
no subject
Oh?
I suppose I should've guessed.
no subject
It's not immortality. But the genetic modifications of my body have slowed the aging process almost entirely. [ ... ] There isn't any way to fix it either.
no subject
Mentally, how old are you? Do you possess the same processing capability as your body, or is there an eighty year old trapped in there?
no subject
no subject
[ok arrogance]
What, was the other guy planning on stealing your body at some point? Override your consciousness with his own?
no subject
but he shakes his head. ]
No. He was doing all of the experiments to see what would work. I'm guessing he wanted to rule out any and all side effects and create the perfect genetic code before altering his own. He never really said.
[ ...and he thinks this might not matter to scien in particular, given how he operates, but shoma figures it's fair to offer full context. ]
...I was in elementary school when they told me something was wrong with my genes. Instead of going to the hospital, I was taken to Horadori Institute. He told me there were abnormalities in my DNA, something only one in hundreds of thousands of people had. It meant I'd get sick with an incurable disease and I'd die really soon if I didn't start treatments right away. The only way they could help me was through gene therapy.
[ a flicker of annoyance, and anger, and frustration all over again. ]
I finally stole my file from the Institute when I was twelve because I wanted to find out what was wrong. And as you probably guessed, the answer was nothing. He was just using me for his experiments. [ a pause. ] The sole success of his research. That's what it said.
no subject
[hELP HEELP HELPPPP NOT SCIEN IMMEDIATELY HAVING A PICTURE IN HIS HEAD OF WHO THIS GUY ISSSSS
but there are flickers of understanding. there isn't anything quite like sympathy or empathy, but a faraway emotion that is something like disgruntlement. even if he isn't the type to react to someone else's backstory...
well, it's the principle of the thing]
So when you spoke of transformation and key events... I see now.
Then I can at least say this: I don't think it is impossible for you to resume aging normally. You are not unsalvageable.
no subject
...you don't. [ he's not the type to get his hopes up (not anymore, there's never a point in doing so), but he is admittedly curious. he has no idea what all horadori did to his genes or how to rectify it, but he was mildly hoping someone with more knowledge about genetic engineering would have more clues. ] Really?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)