I'm used to it. [ it's not really an excuse, it's more of an explanation for why he would normally isolate himself. he doesn't quite answer the "how are you" question, because he's still trying to figure it out, but he does consider it. ]
How much have you heard from any of the others so far?
That doesn't mean you should be, especially after everything that happened today.
I shook down Lovelace-san after helping her to the medbay. Charles-san told me a little, too, but they're both a little antsy about sharing some things that the rest of you may not want to be public knowledge. Understandably so.
[ a pause, then he looks at shoma. ]
They told me enough, though, so don't feel like you have to go over it with me when everyone else is probably asking you about it, too. If you need a break from thinking about it for a little while, that's fine with me.
I don't want to be. [ normally it would take a huge fight for him to admit it but no. simple. ] The Captain probably needed it, actually. She's not really the type to admit things easily, and Charles is a little more forthcoming but still...[ mm. ] Let's just say it all kind of felt like one huge personal attack.
[ there's a thoughtful pause to that though. ]
...a lot of it is stuff I've been trying not to think about for a really long time. That was after all the corrosion stuff. Having to do what we did and revisit all of that...wasn't exactly fun.
[ a little spark of electricity flicks off of his hand. that's fine. ]
Yeah, I wouldn't think so. It's no wonder you guys would be shaken up after that. To be honest, it sounds like you guys had an even harder time than we did, and that's already something I wouldn't have wished on anyone.
...I'm glad you guys made it back, though. Whatever happened in there, at least we can try to help now.
[ hm. he notes that, and he vaguely wonders what caused it but will not ask. ]
None of this should be happening to any of us and I'm gonna stand by that. And it's like..."I went through the worst experience of my life and all I got was a stupid keychain."
[ ...but his shoulders droop slightly. ] I'm glad, too. It wasn't looking too great for a while at the end, but we did what we had to do to get back. Now it's just a matter of everybody helping each other to get through tonight.
[ he leans back, dropping his head on the back rest with a sigh. ]
Plenty of people are going to be looking out for you guys this weekend. The only person I'd be worried about in that way is Baiken-san, but I get the feeling she's more likely to stab someone for asking how she's doing than anything.
That sounds about right. She wasn't really that open to talking to us when we met up either, but I think that's just her personality. [ shrug. he has accepted that he and baiken are just going to stay out of each other's way. ]
...it's weird to think about how it's only been about three weeks since we all met, but people are still willing to help this much.
Pretty sure she's just like that, yeah. Someone will check on her, whether she wants them to or not.
...Is it that weird? We're all people in the same situation. We're all scared. And I don't think anyone wants to just watch someone bleed out in front of them if they can do anything about it.
[ he lets the baiken subject drop with a short nod because people sure are stubborn. that's baiken's problem now.
to the rest, he's sort of gazing off into the distance like he really has to consider this, adjusting his blankets and frowning in thought. ]
No. I guess it's not that weird. [ because despite what he just said he can recognize that no, this is like. a normal reaction in times of crisis. ] Forget I said that, that was...stupid.
What? Hey, no, it's not stupid. If we were in Shinjuku, I'd probably be saying the same thing.
[ he blurs into static for a moment. ]
It's just... there's only, like, forty of us here, and we know to expect someone to be attacked on Thursday night - just Thursday night, during the jumps. I think, when there's no other threat like that, it's probably a lot easier to focus on helping who needs it instead of just... surviving first. That's the difference.
True. Thursdays it becomes a game of every man for himself as much as I hate that idea. But it's hard not to see it that way when some of us may not be ourselves on those nights. [ ... ] Outside of that, people have been willing to help and be nice about things without even asking. Problems are more noticeable, but I think their reactions are, too.
Most people are willing to help the person in front of them. It's only easy to ignore if it has nothing to do with you at all, but we're all here together.
...for a little while, while we were there, it was hard to work as a group. [ just to point out why this is a strange sentiment. ] It got better, but people have agendas no matter where you look. It's nice when they overlap with yours, or when there aren't times of crisis. That's all.
But I don't disagree that most people are willing to help.
No, I think that had more to do with our personalities. [ lmao. ] ...I'm starting to wonder if we should be figuring out who else knows first aid. Just as a back-up for if the pods are full and we can't get any more yet.
[ as for shoma and lovelace... well. he doesn't need to comment on those two. ]
Io-san is an obvious one, but we can't rely on them for everything. Though... I was thinking of maybe asking them to teach me first aid, in case this really keeps happening. We can probably use all the extra hands we can get.
[ even if the thought makes him a little nervous. ]
Charles literally died first because he couldn't mind his own business. [ dry. he loves charles so much but he WILL drag this man. ]
...it's not a bad idea. Even the basics would be helpful just for patching smaller wounds. And they seem like they'd be open to helping people learn if they ask. We shouldn't be fully relying on this technology anyway just in case we get locked out or something.
[ he pauses because he wants to defend charles for that but also. what does he know.
so instead he just grimaces. ]
And we can definitely count on other people going to the medbay on Thursday nights, so... it'll be better to be prepared for that to happen again. [ ... ] The pods were working on Friday, right?
[ he never thought to check and i don't remember if someone actually said so in trial. ]
Last Friday? I...don't think they were. Eunhyuk used them to heal himself and leave Viktor there, so I think they were closed. We'll have to see if they stay open tomorrow.
[ i forgot which thread this was... timing. nyeh ]
Yeah, I meant aside from that... If the room's unlocked, there's no reason they shouldn't work, but we never know with this place. I don't really want you guys to have to go through trial injured like we did.
We're going to do what we can, but...we should check and see what happens with the medical bay tomorrow. It'll at least give us an idea of what's feasible and what should prioritize. I'd rather people not be too bad off on Saturday either.
Even if it they aren't working tomorrow, we should probably pick up some supplies to make sure you guys are taken care of. I still have some stuff in my guitar case, but it's pretty limited. It probably wouldn't be enough for the whole weekend.
Oh. Yeah that's actually smart. Gregor mentioned painkillers and I haven't gotten around to it, but those might help if we can access those. And fresh bandages for the people with external wounds we're trying to prevent from bleeding out again. [ thinking... ] It can't hurt to try and start making a few small kits to have on hand we can bring to the site of impact on Thursdays, too.
I still have painkillers, if you need it. And some of the stuff from that med kit they gave us when we first got here, but I used a bunch of the bandages already. Could probably stuff more in those things... or I can just take my guitar out of the case and use that. That'd give it a lot more room.
I probably should, but it can wait. I have my own med kit that I should look through but it's in our room somewhere. I'll dig it up later. That's not a bad idea though to keep it restocked. And your guitar case would have way more storage as long as you didn't mind carrying it to the scene.
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How much have you heard from any of the others so far?
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I shook down Lovelace-san after helping her to the medbay. Charles-san told me a little, too, but they're both a little antsy about sharing some things that the rest of you may not want to be public knowledge. Understandably so.
[ a pause, then he looks at shoma. ]
They told me enough, though, so don't feel like you have to go over it with me when everyone else is probably asking you about it, too. If you need a break from thinking about it for a little while, that's fine with me.
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[ there's a thoughtful pause to that though. ]
...a lot of it is stuff I've been trying not to think about for a really long time. That was after all the corrosion stuff. Having to do what we did and revisit all of that...wasn't exactly fun.
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Yeah, I wouldn't think so. It's no wonder you guys would be shaken up after that. To be honest, it sounds like you guys had an even harder time than we did, and that's already something I wouldn't have wished on anyone.
...I'm glad you guys made it back, though. Whatever happened in there, at least we can try to help now.
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None of this should be happening to any of us and I'm gonna stand by that. And it's like..."I went through the worst experience of my life and all I got was a stupid keychain."
[ ...but his shoulders droop slightly. ] I'm glad, too. It wasn't looking too great for a while at the end, but we did what we had to do to get back. Now it's just a matter of everybody helping each other to get through tonight.
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[ he leans back, dropping his head on the back rest with a sigh. ]
Plenty of people are going to be looking out for you guys this weekend. The only person I'd be worried about in that way is Baiken-san, but I get the feeling she's more likely to stab someone for asking how she's doing than anything.
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...it's weird to think about how it's only been about three weeks since we all met, but people are still willing to help this much.
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...Is it that weird? We're all people in the same situation. We're all scared. And I don't think anyone wants to just watch someone bleed out in front of them if they can do anything about it.
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to the rest, he's sort of gazing off into the distance like he really has to consider this, adjusting his blankets and frowning in thought. ]
No. I guess it's not that weird. [ because despite what he just said he can recognize that no, this is like. a normal reaction in times of crisis. ] Forget I said that, that was...stupid.
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[ he blurs into static for a moment. ]
It's just... there's only, like, forty of us here, and we know to expect someone to be attacked on Thursday night - just Thursday night, during the jumps. I think, when there's no other threat like that, it's probably a lot easier to focus on helping who needs it instead of just... surviving first. That's the difference.
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...for a little while, while we were there, it was hard to work as a group. [ just to point out why this is a strange sentiment. ] It got better, but people have agendas no matter where you look. It's nice when they overlap with yours, or when there aren't times of crisis. That's all.
But I don't disagree that most people are willing to help.
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[ he sparks a little again. ]
I know that. But I stand by what I said. The people here - none of us want anyone to be injured.
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[ as for shoma and lovelace... well. he doesn't need to comment on those two. ]
Io-san is an obvious one, but we can't rely on them for everything. Though... I was thinking of maybe asking them to teach me first aid, in case this really keeps happening. We can probably use all the extra hands we can get.
[ even if the thought makes him a little nervous. ]
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...it's not a bad idea. Even the basics would be helpful just for patching smaller wounds. And they seem like they'd be open to helping people learn if they ask. We shouldn't be fully relying on this technology anyway just in case we get locked out or something.
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so instead he just grimaces. ]
And we can definitely count on other people going to the medbay on Thursday nights, so... it'll be better to be prepared for that to happen again. [ ... ] The pods were working on Friday, right?
[ he never thought to check and i don't remember if someone actually said so in trial. ]
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Yeah, I meant aside from that... If the room's unlocked, there's no reason they shouldn't work, but we never know with this place. I don't really want you guys to have to go through trial injured like we did.
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We're going to do what we can, but...we should check and see what happens with the medical bay tomorrow. It'll at least give us an idea of what's feasible and what should prioritize. I'd rather people not be too bad off on Saturday either.
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