solesuccess | CATCHALL: Kazuki

[ he's not sure what to do with this callout. ]

Depends on how you look at it. [ he reuses the phrase because, well, he's not sure? he knows that he's a little guarded but he also knows that being here means they have to try not to be. ]

From how I'm looking at it, you have a habit of absorbing everything you can about others and keeping everything about yourself close to your chest.

[ he's not being harsh about this, just. observing. ]

I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but. You know.

[ hm. still not sure how to deal with that read of him, so he's looking at kazuki for a long couple of minutes before he shrugs. he tries to appear unruffled about this, but it's kind of obvious the words landed. ]

It's just easier this way, I think. Or more efficient. But it's also not always on purpose.

[ just like 95% of the time because sometimes you really are just a person who doesn't want to be perceived because you're afraid people won't like, want or understand it afterwards. ]

[ that's fine. kazuki will let him take the time he needs and just wait, fiddling idly with his bandages. ]

I get that. [ a slight hesitation before he continues. ] I have a friend who's kind of like that, too - mostly keeps to himself unless you force him to talk about anything besides music.

Like I said, I don't think it's a bad thing, and I'm not saying you should do a 180 and wear your heart on your sleeve. It's just that, if we really have to get to know each other better so we know what to look for when things get bad again, it's something to keep in mind. That's all.

[ he actually looks interested to hear this, because like kazuki said, shoma has a tendency to absorb stuff about other people than be willing to talk too much about himself. ]

...I know you're right. But it's always going to be a guessing game of what's going to help us solve things and what can be used against us. That's...just for me to get over though, I think.

You never really know when there are other people involved. Even more so when things are like this. Trust me, I think about that stuff way too much.

[ sometimes you care way too much what other people think about you. he shrugs his good shoulder and looks away, expression thoughtful. ]

Trust is a two-way street, though. Can't really get what you're not giving.

[ YOU SURE DO.

but...huh. ]

So guess that's all the more reason to decide when to give before it's too late? [ he wants to ask why kazuki thinks about this kind of stuff when the guy seems so...normal...but. he also thinks that this isn't the time to ask. ]

Guess so.

...For what it's worth, that's something I have to get better at, too. Then again... most of us could probably stand to.

...it's weird because it's easy to give as advice and pretty difficult to take. I think that applies to just about everybody.

[ it's really more that kazuki just didn't want to try, but who is he to correct shoma here. ]

That's true. And, depending on how you want to look at it... the one good thing about most of us being from different worlds is that no one's going to be able to doxx you back at home later if you slip and say something embarrassing.

[ just... a light joke, even if kazuki does lowkey worry about that sometimes. ]

Mostly. [ can't relate, constantly on-guard about things that could be taken back home. but the little grin says it's also meant to be a joke despite sort of worrying about this. ] On the bright side, at least we have a lot of things going on here that anything embarrassing might be forgotten sooner than later?

Unless we get pictures.

[ which kazuki has, for some things. ]

Buuuut not everyone needs to know about those.

What's the point of blackmail if everyone knows? [ so yeah, he agrees. ] Those kinds of secrets definitely aren't bad ones.

[ those are just funny. ]

Exactly. I knew you'd get it.

We could probably use more of that after today, too. Just... something harmless.

I wouldn't disagree. It's about the only way we can keep going, right? Break up the misery a little. [ and yet...he is still pretty obviously upset this happened. that'll take a bit to get over, but...they have to keep moving. ]

That's how we did it back home. [ ... ] And after last week.

[ a little nod. ]

Maybe...it isn't the worst idea to try and come up with some sort of recuperation plan for after these things happen. Better than just stewing and then trying to pull out, right?

Right. Keeps your mind busy, at least, and that's better than nothing.

[ stares at hands. ]

...It'll be easier when I can play again.

...you're gonna try the pods again to see if you can heal everything further, aren't you?

Once they're back in working order. It'll be fine, I just... Playing helps. Kind of like you with Roboji, maybe. I'm just being impatient.

I get it. I build a lot to keep myself busy, too. [ so yeah, maybe. ] It's easy when you don't want to think too much and you want something easy so that you're ready to take on other stuff. Or even when it's just stuff you really like doing.

[ he nods like yeah. knew you'd understand. ]

Music... is all of that, for me. 's probably a little why I've been more on edge. What am I supposed to do like this? Stare at the walls?

Edited (tfw you're closing tabs and notice this a day later) 2024-03-18 15:15 (UTC)

I mean you could, but I get the feeling that'd just make you even more on edge. [ heh. ] People might suggest finding something new for the meantime, but it's kind of like...why? You already know what you like so what's the point?

Depends on what the new thing is. I don't mind trying new things, but if it needs hands, it's still out for now.

[ this sucks!! ]

The only good thing is that I don't have to worry about cooking.

[ there's a soft laugh, even if it's not funny. ]

True. There has to be some small blessings in all of this shit.

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teenrebellion - 2024-03-19 20:38 (UTC) - Expand