[ ah. he does look a little surprised even while he's watching scien browse. ]
It's an honor. [ it's a dry comment, but he is actually touched. ] I can't say I haven't kept my options open lately. Depending on how things turn out.
but more than that, he's capable. when scien looks back at him, he raises an eyebrow almost in disbelief. after all that shoma has worked on, did he think that his efforts wouldn't be noticed and rewarded? scien's expression softens into something that could very well be fondness.]
I trust we'll accomplish what we set out to.
[with the usual insane godly arrogance that scien possesses.]
But I already told you. You have the capability to mend yourself, and I am one more resource to be used.
[ even after all of this work, he didn't want to be presumptuous. but he grins. ]
Undoubtedly so. It will be a lot easier to get anything done without having to crack your codes and piecemeal information over HER-MES. So maybe it's about finalizing exactly what we want.
[ but he does remember this. and he nods to this, pausing for a moment. ]
...a lot of things have happened over the last several weeks. Some I regret, and some I'm glad for. But that hasn't changed. I want to finalize a plan to fix myself. [ ... ] I know it likely isn't an option for me, but I do have some questions about some of the things you mentioned in your letters. Even if it was only an option there, it's an avenue to try and explore in the end.
[scien will turn then, letting his back rest against the counters as he raises a brow.]
I've already pushed my technology further than normal; there's probably not much that's out of the realm of possibility with enough time.
We can discuss the issue of worm planet and the upcoming troubles tomorrow. [no more plot!! no more plot!!! give me my shoma cr!!] Name your curiosities and I will answer you.
[ he does not say that time might be the concern, because yeah. no more plot!! there's a slightly amused huff and he looks away for a moment. ]
You are here for longer now, so I can accept that. [ so. first thing first. ] ...you said you got your other arm back because you edited out the memory of losing it. Did you forget anything else after doing that?
No. Everything except that moment remained intact, though the rest of my memories must've shifted to accommodate the change in reality. Perhaps as some form of rationalization. Every memory afterward, I had two arms.
Are you trying to alter your state by affecting your memory? You're corporeal.
[so he's not sure if that'd work]
Or do you think your memories have some information worth unlocking?
It would make sense. If you altered it, anything that would create a continuity error in the rest of that reality would be a major flag. I know I'm corporeal, that's why I wasn't sure either. But...it's possible. When Chikara was doing these experiments, he never told me what he was doing or how it was done, but maybe there's something about the method buried in my memories. If I found something, I could maybe determine a method to change it in the opposite direction.
It's possible. If you're interested in looking into subconscious memory, then your memory data can be extracted and examined.
I created a view port that would let you watch your own memories and sift through them like tape. It was slightly faulty in the Helly Belly because of what we were made out of...
But a proper examination should be possible in a normal situation.
That's...insanely useful. [ like not even just for this instance, he just thinks that's cool as hell. ] I can't guarantee it'll make anything appear but it was so long ago and I don't know if I was fully conscious for every visit. Even the slightest tipoff might help.
[ ... ]
Barring that, I've been...working up to the idea that it's going to have to be resplicing and repairing and rearranging my genes again.
[scien just nods. he likes making useful things, though he'll probably be removing the memory editing feature from all future machinery.... too dangerous.]
...there were a lot of factors. I got tired of not being able to keep up the way I wanted to, for one. And I have people I want to be better for. There are people at home who are going to need me when I get back. And there are things I want that I won't be able to have if I look like this.
If you're interested in memory data, you can follow me briefly before I send you back home. Or you can do research on your own, in your own world. If there is a method of communication, I can send you data over messages.
[ as always, impressive, and the way both of his eyebrows raise seem to imply he's not surprised by this knowledge but he's glad to hear this. ]
And it's not a choice to make lightly. [ because...he would love to go somewhere and actually study something challenging and immerse himself in this new technology and actually learn under someone as brilliant as scien. but there is a difference between the two of them, and it's shoma's attachments. ]
It may be necessary that I return to my own world and research there. I can't be away from Amame more than I've already been.
My older sister. I know that when we leave this ship we'll be able to go back to the point in time we were at when we first arrived, but I can't leave her without even telling her.
I'll send something back with you that'll emit a low frequency that I'll try to trace across the universe. I expect it to take me a few months to develop the technology, but not more than a year.
I appreciate it. I've waited for six years already, so a few months is really nothing in comparison. [ ... ] I'll give it a few months on my end, too. And if there's nothing, I'll come. I'll have graduated by then, and...I'll have a better idea of what's happening with some other problems that need to be fixed. It'll give me time to figure things out.
I understand that the experiments were inhumane and unacceptable. But if they were already done... it is more of a waste to not use what is learned to the benefit and preservation of natural human life.
I agree with you. [ the way it's said seems to imply he's been thinking on this a little even before scien mentioned it. ] It's...I can't change the past for other people. I can't really change it for me either. So if I can at least salvage these things and use it to apply a solution for a better future I have to take that chance. I'm still...really mad about what happened. I think I always will be. But I also can't deny he obviously had an idea what he was doing. It was just knowledge in the wrong hands.
Brilliant men who take the lives of others into their hands and intentionally cause them harm, whether for the sake of a greater goal or otherwise, are factually more evil than good. There is objectively no reason for you to not be angry, and in fact only more when you want to hold him to a higher standard.
[scien's words are cold and certain—but it's hard to call it hypocrisy when he's also the first person to call himself evil. in some ways, he's no better than this person who tampered with shoma's body.
but that doesn't change the present: that he's intent to do something worthwhile with all this pain that's been caused]
Use his data to save yourself. In full transparency, I'll also use it for my own goals.
[ maybe that's the main difference in shoma's thoughts between how he feels about horadori and how he feels about scien. with horadori, the man only cared about how his experiments would benefit him and what he wanted for himself. with scien, at least he's aware there's a greater good even if the means are messy. ]
You would know. [ this isn't even said as a diss, he just thinks factually that scien is very self-aware of what he's doing and can, in fact, say these things without being wrong. it would be a greater problem if scien were more hypocritical. ] I appreciate the transparency. Anything I find is yours to keep, even if I'm not sure how much use it may be for you. [ ... ] Though...I do know the institute was studying a lot of things including cloning as well. Some of the methods used might help, since it's isolating certain parts of the DNA and removing others to make a healthier, better copy.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
It's an honor. [ it's a dry comment, but he is actually touched. ] I can't say I haven't kept my options open lately. Depending on how things turn out.
no subject
but more than that, he's capable. when scien looks back at him, he raises an eyebrow almost in disbelief. after all that shoma has worked on, did he think that his efforts wouldn't be noticed and rewarded? scien's expression softens into something that could very well be fondness.]
I trust we'll accomplish what we set out to.
[with the usual insane godly arrogance that scien possesses.]
But I already told you. You have the capability to mend yourself, and I am one more resource to be used.
You have my permission to make requests of me.
no subject
Undoubtedly so. It will be a lot easier to get anything done without having to crack your codes and piecemeal information over HER-MES. So maybe it's about finalizing exactly what we want.
[ but he does remember this. and he nods to this, pausing for a moment. ]
...a lot of things have happened over the last several weeks. Some I regret, and some I'm glad for. But that hasn't changed. I want to finalize a plan to fix myself. [ ... ] I know it likely isn't an option for me, but I do have some questions about some of the things you mentioned in your letters. Even if it was only an option there, it's an avenue to try and explore in the end.
no subject
I've already pushed my technology further than normal; there's probably not much that's out of the realm of possibility with enough time.
We can discuss the issue of worm planet and the upcoming troubles tomorrow. [no more plot!! no more plot!!! give me my shoma cr!!] Name your curiosities and I will answer you.
no subject
You are here for longer now, so I can accept that. [ so. first thing first. ] ...you said you got your other arm back because you edited out the memory of losing it. Did you forget anything else after doing that?
no subject
No. Everything except that moment remained intact, though the rest of my memories must've shifted to accommodate the change in reality. Perhaps as some form of rationalization. Every memory afterward, I had two arms.
Are you trying to alter your state by affecting your memory? You're corporeal.
[so he's not sure if that'd work]
Or do you think your memories have some information worth unlocking?
no subject
no subject
It's possible. If you're interested in looking into subconscious memory, then your memory data can be extracted and examined.
I created a view port that would let you watch your own memories and sift through them like tape. It was slightly faulty in the Helly Belly because of what we were made out of...
But a proper examination should be possible in a normal situation.
no subject
[ ... ]
Barring that, I've been...working up to the idea that it's going to have to be resplicing and repairing and rearranging my genes again.
no subject
Does that alternative scare you?
no subject
no subject
What fueled your desire to become stronger?
no subject
...there were a lot of factors. I got tired of not being able to keep up the way I wanted to, for one. And I have people I want to be better for. There are people at home who are going to need me when I get back. And there are things I want that I won't be able to have if I look like this.
no subject
I intend on completing technology that is capable of crossing worlds once I finish up a few loose ends in Arpéchéle. I don't plan on going very many places... but if signals are transmitted from the ones I seek, I should be able to reach them.
If you're interested in memory data, you can follow me briefly before I send you back home. Or you can do research on your own, in your own world. If there is a method of communication, I can send you data over messages.
It is your choice.
no subject
And it's not a choice to make lightly. [ because...he would love to go somewhere and actually study something challenging and immerse himself in this new technology and actually learn under someone as brilliant as scien. but there is a difference between the two of them, and it's shoma's attachments. ]
It may be necessary that I return to my own world and research there. I can't be away from Amame more than I've already been.
no subject
"Amame"?
no subject
no subject
scien nods at that, accepting]
Very well.
I'll send something back with you that'll emit a low frequency that I'll try to trace across the universe. I expect it to take me a few months to develop the technology, but not more than a year.
If you don't make progress fast enough on your own, come to Arpéchéle. There is no expiration date upon my offer.
no subject
no subject
Do as you please.
I was already thinking about looking into genetic disorders... I suppose I'll simply collect more data on your behalf if I get bored.
no subject
no subject
Do so.
I understand that the experiments were inhumane and unacceptable. But if they were already done... it is more of a waste to not use what is learned to the benefit and preservation of natural human life.
no subject
no subject
[scien's words are cold and certain—but it's hard to call it hypocrisy when he's also the first person to call himself evil. in some ways, he's no better than this person who tampered with shoma's body.
but that doesn't change the present: that he's intent to do something worthwhile with all this pain that's been caused]
Use his data to save yourself. In full transparency, I'll also use it for my own goals.
[to save others.]
no subject
You would know. [ this isn't even said as a diss, he just thinks factually that scien is very self-aware of what he's doing and can, in fact, say these things without being wrong. it would be a greater problem if scien were more hypocritical. ] I appreciate the transparency. Anything I find is yours to keep, even if I'm not sure how much use it may be for you. [ ... ] Though...I do know the institute was studying a lot of things including cloning as well. Some of the methods used might help, since it's isolating certain parts of the DNA and removing others to make a healthier, better copy.