[ this is a fair assumption, because even with his father being dead and all of the mixed emotions of that, shoma can acknowledge his dad made a bunch of mistakes. it's the same way he can acknowledge he did love him. it's just...complicated.
so yeah. there is regret and even when dion looks at him again there's guilt in his features all over again. ]
...there was a serial killing case back then. A guy named Tearer. He'd go around cutting his victims in half. And my dad...tried to blackmail him, I guess. Trying to get enough money to pay off the yakuza he was working for to pay off his other debts. You can see what the results were. [ komeji died. pretty straightforward.
and here he pauses again, staring at dion for a moment as if he's trying to determine how much he trusts the guy. but he thinks about one of the first things dion said to him and he thinks about that this man is a fucking dragon of all things, so. if he picks up on the implications of what's said next, fine. if he doesn't, also fine. ]
I'd say "they caught him" six years later, but the only reason the case really came to a close is because Tearer was killed, too.
[ tags this back midtrial just because i think maybe it'll change dion's view of shoma a little so: ]
Yes. [ a pause. ] ...when you asked me if I was immortal, you scared the shit out of me because it's not something people guess. Mostly because it's a little more complicated than that, but maybe it's close enough.
[ dion's eyebrows lift and shoma's shoulders slouch. ]
It's...been hard. [ he won't deny that. ] Most people at home don't really know, and it gets difficult dealing with them. But they do know something's weird.
[ and it's hard to deal with when people pick on you relentlessly for something that isn't even your fault. ]
It was a little weird here, too, since my profile lists my age as 12 so nobody had a reason to think differently. People were a lot nicer though. For a while, Mizuki was the only one who knew the truth. But I did tell Dahut and Scien. I was...hoping to learn more from them, to see if maybe there was a way to fix myself.
Yes, but not about that. I know what caused me to be this way. I just wasn't sure what I could even do to try reversing it. But...given the things Scien and Dahut study and the experiments they've done on their own, it's given me some things to think about and research myself to try and understand what my options could be. If I chose to pursue all of them, that is.
Scien asked me what my true age was the first time we spoke, and when I learned a little more about what it is they do at their institute, it felt a little more okay to explain and ask further questions.
[ nodding to the comment about the french...they were in fact brilliant and it's part of why he misses their companionship even though they're both the way they are.
but to the rest. it is a regrettable thing to share. ]
Believe me, I wish it wasn't something we shared either. I don't think that's an easy thing to live through no matter how it happens or how old you are. [ it sucks! ] But we just...figure out a way to keep going. Even if it feels impossible sometimes.
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so yeah. there is regret and even when dion looks at him again there's guilt in his features all over again. ]
...there was a serial killing case back then. A guy named Tearer. He'd go around cutting his victims in half. And my dad...tried to blackmail him, I guess. Trying to get enough money to pay off the yakuza he was working for to pay off his other debts. You can see what the results were. [ komeji died. pretty straightforward.
and here he pauses again, staring at dion for a moment as if he's trying to determine how much he trusts the guy. but he thinks about one of the first things dion said to him and he thinks about that this man is a fucking dragon of all things, so. if he picks up on the implications of what's said next, fine. if he doesn't, also fine. ]
I'd say "they caught him" six years later, but the only reason the case really came to a close is because Tearer was killed, too.
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he furrows his brows, looking at shoma and then thinking again of the memory. ]
Six years later? Six years have passed since this incident?
[ but shoma looks exactly the same. ]
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Yes. [ a pause. ] ...when you asked me if I was immortal, you scared the shit out of me because it's not something people guess. Mostly because it's a little more complicated than that, but maybe it's close enough.
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dion, for the most part surprised. ]
Then your true age...?
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Eighteen. [ so unfortunately yeah he was still 12 when all of that happened. ]
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but oh, his eyebrows lift ]
It must be frustrating to be treated as a child.
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It's...been hard. [ he won't deny that. ] Most people at home don't really know, and it gets difficult dealing with them. But they do know something's weird.
[ and it's hard to deal with when people pick on you relentlessly for something that isn't even your fault. ]
It was a little weird here, too, since my profile lists my age as 12 so nobody had a reason to think differently. People were a lot nicer though. For a while, Mizuki was the only one who knew the truth. But I did tell Dahut and Scien. I was...hoping to learn more from them, to see if maybe there was a way to fix myself.
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Were they able to offer any advice? What has caused you to become this way...?
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Scien asked me what my true age was the first time we spoke, and when I learned a little more about what it is they do at their institute, it felt a little more okay to explain and ask further questions.
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[ sighs ]
Still, it was a terrible way to lose a parent. I... regret that this is something we share.
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but to the rest. it is a regrettable thing to share. ]
Believe me, I wish it wasn't something we shared either. I don't think that's an easy thing to live through no matter how it happens or how old you are. [ it sucks! ] But we just...figure out a way to keep going. Even if it feels impossible sometimes.
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That is true. I hope you find a way to keep going, my friend. Remembering that you may rely on others to do so.
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That...feels like a lesson a lot of people have been trying to teach me lately. Does it really seem like I might not? [ yes. it does. ]
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I have full faith in you, my friend. 'Twas merely a reminder.
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Well, thank you. Think it's a reminder we can all use. [ ... ] ...Dion, where is this tram going?
[ WE ARE STILL HERE NOW THAT WE ARE OUT OF THE MEMSHARE VOID. ]
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